Fortuna’s Ruminations Part VI: Sibling Rivalry

The human named Steve came over yesterday and informed me that I have a new sister. He then presented the creature to me so that I might deign to approve.

Did I feign excitement? Show perpetual disinterest? Vomit hair and food at her feet?

None of the above actually. I feel that I was very even-tempered about the whole thing. I suppose you’d like to see a picture of her wouldn’t you?

Well hello there!

Her name is Lakshmi which is the Hindu Goddess of just about everything good. My namesake is the Roman Goddess of luck and fate. Both auspicious names to be sure but I will take fate over (to quote my favorite resource, Wikipedia)…

Wealth, prosperity (both material and spiritual), light, wisdom, fortune, fertility, generosity and courage; and the embodiment of beauty, grace and charm’

…any day of the week. After all, if you are not fated to have light, wealth, beauty, etc. etc. then what good is it?

The Meeting

I feel it best to tell the tale of our meeting through pictures for two reasons. They are worth a bounty of words and the human Steve is so diligent about taking them. If I thought anything other than myself was ‘cute’ then I would say that his devotion to chronicling the lives of his ‘pets’ (which is to say, ‘Overlords’) is, in fact, ‘cute’. I just wish he wouldn’t click his tongue and snap his fingers to get our attention. I see the camera. I know its intended purpose. I get that you want me to ‘look at it’.

Whatever.

My thoughts on the meeting.

‘Dear God. What the hell is this? Get it out of my face before I swipe at it. I am a vicious killing machine and don’t you forget that!’

Make it go away!

‘That wasn’t so bad. The beast clearly knows that she lives only as a result of my benevolence. In truth, she is well-tempered and, (dare I say?), cute.’

You are now free to look at my butt.

‘What’s this? The human is showing her affection and I am a few mere feet away? Sigh. Time to again become the Angel of Death.’

First I kill the human; then I maim the dog.

‘Excellent. The human realized the error of his ways just in time. I will only take two of his fingers… just to leave a reminder.’

There will be no deaths today.

After I departed to attend to more pressing matters, Lakshmi talked to the human, probably expressing relief that she survived the encounter.

I'm just thankful I'm still alive!

I have no doubt that there will be plenty more misadventures ahead.

Alas.

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3 Replies to “Fortuna’s Ruminations Part VI: Sibling Rivalry”

  1. Fortuna, you made me laugh once again. thank you for taking only 2 of Steve’s fingers…as the rest come in handy cleaning your litter box I’m sure. oh, and the “you are now free to look at my butt” comment? priceless…

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